Forcing myself to exercise

Today i manage to resume my yoga lessons after stopping for like a few months.... hehe... more like half a year.

I fidgeted, hesitated and literally drag and force myself to the class because i think i have been sitting too much, inactivity too much for too long. Can start to feel neck ache, back ache and all kind of aches that signals lack of exercise. Do you ever need to force yourself to exercise ? Its so hard, and i keep giving myself excuse not to go. Its like both the angel and demon within me waging a war... and I am psychologically torned apart.

There is a swimming pool the place i live, but i'd always find excuse for myself for not taking a dip in the pool. The weather is too cold - might catch cold, the sun is too hot - might get sunburn, too many ppl in the pool...... not in the mood for swim ..... these are among the excuses i gave myself not swimming.

Why do humans have to exercise to stay healthy ? ....will there be a future technology to make human stay healthy without exercising ? For lazy people like me, that sounds like heaven.

Taking for granted what comes by easily

Last weekend, I had to tolerate a pregnant mom's whining. I sat for hours listending to the incessant complaints, worries and nagging about her impending loss of freedom, worry about about her expanding waistline, about the kid's babysitter fee. Children are gifts from God, and one should be grateful to receive such gift, rather than perceiving a kid as a financial and emotional burden. I tried to emphatized, but I can't.

It dawned to me - that when things comes too easily to us, it is usually taken for granted and not appreciated. It is the same when mom lay food on the table, and all we just had to to is open our mouth and eat -- we complain the food is not tasty enough.

When parents are granted with a child, they complain about the cost of raising a child. They complain about expensive baby sitters and loss of freedom and mobility. Parents worry that they cannot afford to send them to international schools, or send them to overseas tertiary education.

Stop for a second and think of the tears of those childless couple who yearn for a child of their own.

Stop for a minute to think of those couples who had to endure IVF or test tube, who had to allow needles and tubes to be poked into their body -- in vain to get a child.

Stop for a while to think of a father who can feed his 5 kids with a mere RM1000 monthly income.

Stop and think ... and all these worries would seem trivial in comparison, and when we realised its time to count our blessings.

Spending a great weekend alone ...

Last weekend, I had myself pampered nicely in a manner that would leave most of my girl friends gaping in astonishment ... had they known what I did. My friends would think I am the extravagant one.

Saturday morning, i went yoga class and had my bones & muscles properly stretch and relax after one week's inactivity in office. Always feels good after a yoga class.

Then I googled for a good place for a haircut. They were many recommendations on Snips @ The Curve and Mofa @ Manjalara. Initially I thought of going for Snips. I ended up in Peek-A-Boo .. which was next door. I was pretty satisfied. At least much better than my last hairdresser at Kepong, which I decided to dump. RM55 - Slightly pricey, but its worth it coz I am sick of getting my hair messed up by "un-professionals".

Come Sunday morning, I woke up feeling my body aching all over ... maybe from yoga and also maybe because of heavy work of packing up. Never mind the reason - I gleefully felt that it was quite justifiable to get myself the nice massage that I had always wanted. I have never done a massage in KL. I had massages in Bangkok and Cambodia, but never in my own country. Asking my friends to recommend a good massage place would be out-of-the-question. Most likely than not, they would ask more questions rather than answer my question. So what do I do ? I search for online testimonials at websites like Malaysia Babes and Lowyat forum. Really quite a lot of discussion on this topic. I randomly picked that was recommended, Bodhi Sense @ Plaza Damas.

Bodhi Sense is a thai massage place, its quite a quiet nice place. The 1.5 hours session cost almost RM150. But what the heck, it feels so good. The masseur is a petite Thai girl, and she skilfully tries to massage away the stubborn knots on my neck. I'd always think that one of life's enjoyment of having a good massage. Massage increases one's endorphins level and sense of well-being.

After leaving the massage place, I ordered a simple Unagi Don and Cawan Mushi from Izakaya Ichiban @ Plaza Damas. It was really nice, have never tasted unagi that nice. The sauce is just slightly sweet and savoury enough. And the rice comes with 2 big servings of unagi. Totally unlike unagi don at Sakae Sushi or Sushi King, which has more egg slices than unagi. Totally satisfied my gastronomic appetite.

Conclusion, it is dangerous for a girl to wander out alone, lest there would be no one to control her weekend spendings. And I am supposed to feel quilty for such a heavy weekend spending, given that inflation and all. I am suppose to exercise some prudence in spending. To think of it, I don't mind being richer; then I won't need to sigh when I get my credit card bills.

What's in a mug ?

My favourite mug broke today.... sob..sob... :(

Perhaps the water was too hot, as I was holding it... it just split cleanly into 2 and crashed to the floor. I picked up the pieces, and attempted to piece it back.

My favourite mug was not just a mug. It has a Pentium 600Mhz logo printed on it. It represents a piece of my past. Those were the times when i was a rookie - idealistic, naive, honest, and trusting. Totally very green.

The mug reminded me of colleagues who were kind and helpful, and taught me how to fend for myself. I also remembered the colleagues who were bullying and abusive, who sought to make my life miserable every day. On hindsight, I am a stronger person today .... and I have them to thank for. Ever hear the line which reminds us that those who made us trip and fell, are the people who help us grow too.

Yea, I am gonna use some UHU and glue back my mug. Guess my mug wont be siting in my kitchen anymore. It will be sitting in my living room shelves for display instead. After all, I am a sentimental person.

What's real and what's not

There was people movement at the place where I worked. Unexpectedly, I was moved up to fill the vacuum .. call it a promo... moving up the ladder... temporary solution... or whatever you prefer to call it. Anyway, that's not what I want to dwell on today.

It is the obvious change in the way I get treated by my colleagues and customers that bothers me. People who dont usually lunch with me, now wants to lunch with me. Many more people drop by to chat with me, and I had to 'entertain' them when all I wanted to do was to finish the mountain of tasks at hand. People seems to be more polite than they were, i hear "t"s and "p"s so often that it is beginning to make me wiggle uncomfortably. More people pat my back, and shake my hands than I could remember.

It dawned to me how effortlessly humans adapt their behaviour and shift their attitude. Power attracts attention like magnet. With great power. comes great responsibility. I have no illusion about that. The day that you lose power, is the day all of these attention dissolves very quickly. In another way, this realisation upsets me.... and it continue to upset me for quite a few days.

It got me thinking... What happens to sincerity, true friendship, genuine camarade at workplace ? Does it not exist anymore ? How do I know what's real and what's not real ? Has my world transform into a unreal world like The Truman Show then ?

Fading away ...

Last weekend I made a visit to my grandpa. It hurts to see grandpa look so frail and bony when he happily greet us at the door. He has been sick for some time. As mom and I were sorting thru his daily medicine intake, the packets of tablets, syrups on his daily menu is shocking. He is living on painkillers to make his journey bearable. I would have taken a picture of his medicine if I hadnt think it would be rude.

I was never granpa's favorite grandchild. Nor has he been my favorite grandparent. But that day, oddly I sense a strong loving affection from granpa. He was weak, croaking hoarsely but still try to upkeep his sense of humor. There was a strange warmth in his eyes that is only found when grandparents look at grandchildren.

This is all-the-more heartbreaking to see him wilting away in front of my eyes. Saying that granpa have not been a saint in his entire life, has to be an understatement. He has done many wrongs in his life. But at that particular moment, all that's past does not matter - all is forgiven.

To see someone wilting and fading away causes such pain....... when I can only offer my prayers.

Please join Donation for Breast Cancer

I received email from an old friend of mine, who is now working and living in California. She will be taking a 60 mile walk for Breast Cancer, one of the major killer disease nowadays. I decided to support her courage to embark on this walk to commemorate her aunts who lost their battle to breast cancer.

I too, paused to grieve and think of the friends, relatives and acquaintances who lost their life to cancer.

I hope you will read her website here... be touched, and donate for a good cause as well.

Personal Space

Personal space is a very important thing that I had took for granted until recently.

Usually I come home from work, I will head for the shower or sofa and enjoy that "I am home" relaxing moment. Dinner will usually come later.

I have missed that quiet moment since my family came for a short stay last week. After I kicked off my shoes, i notice my mom was cooking in the kitchen, my brother is watching TV and my papa is occupying the bathroom. There was no place I could go to hide myself. There was a small sense of loss of personal space, somehow.

I'd always admire those people who can live with a lot of people in the house. How do they find their personal space ? Doesn't everyone need space ? Or is it considered a luxury ? I wonder ...

Some parents would be offended if their children is working in the same city and chose to get a place on their own; or at least I know mine would take it as a very serious personal insult. It takes time to learn to live on your own. Even two person living together requires some adjustment. More than two person living together .... hmmm.... that's tricky equation.

Trading friendship for money

Ever received those email from friends asking if anyone is interested to rent a room, rent a house or sell a house ? Guess many of us would have, at some time or other, received mails like these. Most of the time, I just forward along to more friends to spread the news.

This time around, I was at the other side of the river. I found myself to be the one drafting a email asking friends to fwd to anyone interested to buy my house. This is the first time I write such mails. Its really very sweet and nice to find that lots of your friends are very much enthusiastic in helping you to find a buyer. Most friends just forward along, and some of my good friends even add a personal note to help promote my house. Some replied mail asking for more details on the house. Sigh, these are the times when I think that friends are really important in life. Real touching ...

There are always surprises in life. One email I got was from my ex-housemate who lived with me for a few years. She matter-of-factly asked how much commission she would get if ever any of her friends seal the deal with me. I was first shocked. It sounded so distant, like a question from a stranger. She sounded like a housing agent. Then I was totally upset ! Is she asking for remuneration for something that can be done with just a click of the finger ? Then i realised that I was not her friend. I was just a prospect client who could bring her extra income. Sad, isnt it ? I was just a $$$ opportunity to her.

When one's value is messed up... one's perspective of life and friend become totally distorted. Would you trade friendship for money ?

Like Father, Like Son ?

How much does a son actually takes over his father's character ? Tonight i ponder uneasily on this question.

These kind of thoughts usually does not occured during dating time. Until you meet the family, get to know his family and then regretfully wonder if your hubby would turn out to be as bad as his father. It is like a horror movie unraveling when there are increasing signs that he seems to inherit the bad habits.

I remember in one of the Desperate Housewives episode where Susan Meyers found out that Mike's father is actually in prison for murder. She freaked out thinking about who the baby will takes after. Would Mike be a cold-blooded murderer like his father too ? No wonder in olden times, the Chinese actually checked the family's 18 generations ancestry before agreeing on a marriage. On hindsight, it is not without its own wisdom .

One does wonder and it is a nagging, troubling thing, really. Then again, these are private thoughts that should never be thought aloud, lest it triggers some irreversible damage on the relationship.

Subtle Change

There was much buzz and excitement about the new blogger on the street - CheDet

Dr M has always been a man who speaks his mind and now he speaks via his blog. Blogs are indeed changing the political landscape nowadays. Many politicians are jumping on this blogging bandwagon.

Someday from now, there will be a research paper to analyse how blogs came into the political world. Maybe even a degree course on Political Blogging subject. That should be very much interesting.

Getting to know ....

Citroen cars does not have good second car value, as I was told. I dont know much about cars, really. I got this 3-year car for half the original price the owner paid. Good thing he is a rich guy .... and was upgrading his car, and din mind much about it.

The coolest nice-to-have feature are the light sensor and rain sensor. Imagine you drive thru a tunnel and the headlamps gets switched on. When you are out, it off the lamp. Raining time, the wiper will detect the raindrops frequency and determine the wiper speed. Haha... kampung people like me who only use Proton and Perodua cars did not imagine that one day my car will have intelligent features like that .. haha. Overall, we are happy with our new toy.

We wanted a safer car, as we are travelling long distance more frequently now. The usual stuff like dual airbag, ABS.The Picasso has the ESP (Electronic Stability Program), it kinda automatically force change the gear to low gear when descending down a slope. The number of road accidents these days are getting scarier. But then again, safety comes with a price. The Citroen car may be cheap, but i have no doubt that the fuel and maintenance will be a costly one. The next car that I hope to buy is a environmental car like Toyota Prius. Hopefully, by that time, it will be affordable to man-on-the-street like us.

Years from now, will Proton still be surviving ? I wonder

Love at first sight

a 2

I have been car-hunting for quite a while - ever since I decided to bade goodbye to my Iswara. Shopping for my car is quite like a love affair ... it was love-at-first-sight. My hubby and I almost immediately fell in love with the little-known red colour Citroen Picasso. We were very excited about this 2.0 liter car ! It was a dampener when almost all the people I know responded like ... " huh ... what kinda car is that ? ". Cant blame them, I myself also first-contact with this car.

Its French car.... an european car... beats me why they call european cars as "continental cars". Europe can hardly be considered as a continent... doesnt seem to make sense to me though. Anyway, no matter... :)

My parents almost dropped their jaw and shake their heads when they found out that we didnt test-drive this second-hand car that we were buying. I am no technician, even if I do test-drive, I doubt that I would be able to detect any faults or what. So why bother... right ?

After that it was all the documentation hassle, and a 2 month wait before I actually get to drive my Picasso.

My childhood memories..

I vote Facebook as the social network web of the century !

Today i have a nice surprise in my facebook mailbox. My primary school friend found me ! She was my best buddy during the six years. We were 'sisters' then, the 6 of us solemnly swore as sisters. Haha.. those memories that I cherish came flooding back !!

Few weeks back, I went back for the very important event of the year -- voting !! The voting center was my primary school. My school looks pretty much the same as in my memory, except the lalangs were taller than I remembered.

The classsroom looks the same. The padang, where we had our sports and netball sessions were the same. I was always the goal keeper bcoz of my height; and it was not too fun. One year, after continuous rain for few hours, the padang flooded a few meters, cutting the school off from the main road. I remember excitedly watching the water level rose.

The room where the sister gave us bible study lessons was still there. Sister was an old nun from England. Her face is quite vague in my memory but I always remember that she is always calm, kind, full of love and taught me to draw a pigeon holding a leaf in her beak. My interest in Christianity started back then.

The hall where we do 'pendidikan jasmani' also still there. There was where one of my classmates did 'lompat tinggi' and broke her leg. She was the best in the class at that time, I was the 2nd (being lanky that I was). After that, I too, freak out and din do my best anymore. I purpose allow my feet to hit the pole so that I wont have to jump at the higher height.

The toilet was still located at the far-end of the west side, a separate building near the fence. Over the fence was the cemetary. It was no longer a cemetary, got some new structure over there. That toilet brings back much memories, especially the horror stories we heard about 'hantu' in those dark, smelly toilet. The horror did turned into a real event when a snake was found coiled up in the toilet bowl. In the end, the gardener was called in to 'tackle' the snake.

The school canteen looks smaller than I imagine. When we were young, things around us seems bigger. I remember my first experience of eating a green colour kuih, which is made of sago. Back then, I was told ( forgot who ), that the kuih is actually a stack of frog eggs ...!! Eeeeww.. u can imagine I stayed away from those kuih for many many years, until the truth is known .

I like my school. Time seemed to stopped there. Nothing changes much. Constant, can be a good thing. The next time I go back there, I will make sure to bring my camera along.

Mourning for a friend...

While I am writing this, I have not managed to stop the weeping or the choked sensation at my throat . I just got sad news that one of my ex-classmate passed away. We studied MBA together some years back. He & his wife, a lovely couple, attended classes together. We still bumped into each other at shopping malls and cinemas off-and-on. He was a wonderful person - kind and helpful and jovial and friendly.





This is the second classmate that lost the battle to cancer. During my first semester, my team mate got ill and quickly within months he succumbed to cancer of the lungs, and bade goodbye to us.





HA, may you rest in peace.

To all of us, may we always appreciate life and our family and friends...

Ever got stuck in a lift ?

Yesterday, I had a big scare of my life.

I have been staying at high-rise buildings for at least 5 years. Maybe I was lucky, but I never got trapped in a lift before or heard friends got stuck in lift before. So it seemed like a very far-fetched thing that only happens in movies. But, there is a first time for everything... i guess

I was making my way to the lift, and then there I saw the dustbin was obstructing the entrance to the middle lift. There are three lifts in the place I stay. "Must be someone's prank" - I thought. So I moved the dustbin back to its original place, being a civic-minded citizen that I am.
"Ding" .... finally the lift came, and the lift in the middle opened. After moving a few floors down, the lift suddenly jerked to a stop, as it something stuck in its path. My heart almost stopped too. I looked up - it was 18th floor. At that moment, what flashed through my mind was... " no one would survive a 18 floor drop". My hands and heart felt chilly. I was alone in the lift. I dunno if it would felt better if there was someone else.

I frozed for dunno how long, holding my breath, and half expecting the lift to succumb to gravity any time. Then, I regain my senses and pushed the emergency button. I was so so relieve to hear a voice coming through... you have no idea how relief that was.

"Lif berhenti la..." i meekly said.

"Block mana - lif mana ? " the guard asks

I was so shaken at that time, that I couldnt recall which lift it was. Shouldn't their system know the intercom is coming from which lift ?

While I was trying hard to recall, the lift starting moving again.

" Lif jalan dah" I told him. Then all was quiet. I looked up, it was at 15th floor. I quickly press the 13th floor and hopped out soonest possible. I was so shaken that my knees felt weak.

Later I complained to the guards about the incident, and why they did not ward off the lift.

Lesson learnt : Next time I see a dustbin obstructing the lift door, maybe it means that the lift should not be use. I wont try to be busybody.

What a day...

This is my first time celebrating bday in Spore, as far as I can remember. I had an unavoidable business trip.

I always try not to work on birthdays, if I can help it. Birthday is the perfect occassion to pamper myself & I believe everyone should do the same... hehe. Usually I would laze till I wake up naturally. Then enjoy facial and massage, then have a enjoyable shopping. To be nice to one-self.

This morning, I reluctantly drag myself out of bed at 7am, then prepare to go to work. Had a marathon meeting, but luckily things went well. My handsome guy was at the meeting too, and I couldnt help but catch a few more glimpse at the manager who have such a boyish look. His smile and looks is very captivating. Mind you, this is just pure innocent admiration, nothing more.... :P

Things wasnt so bad altogether. So happen hubby was on the same island, so we managed to meet up for dinner. Since childhood, I had this impression imprinted in my brain that Spore's taste bland and yucks and eeeks. Ever tasted chee cheong fun with watery ketchup sauce ? So I must have severely underrated Singapore's food, seems like there are good food hidden in this little island too. Tonight, tasted the most tasty braised duck, and salted egg crabs opposite Sim Lim Square. Real yummy....

At my age, simple sms wishes from friends & family meant a lot more than it used to. ( see.. i sound so old liao) Maybe I have learnt to cherish the simple things in life. May all my birthday wishes come true (hopefully that's not too much to ask for)

Catching my breath

Its only the 3rd day of the second round of requirement studies, and I am almost exhausted. So thankful that tommorow is a holiday. Not that tommorow I dont need to work, but at least get to catch my breath.

In my new job, the work culture is such that a 3-hour meeting is acceptable. This kind of marathon meeting would not have been entertained in my previous workplace. Waiting 20 minutes for the attendees to arrive is a norm. Then starts off with some small talk. Then start agenda proper. Then beat around the bush a bit when asked on a very straightforward questions. Oh god, i have tons of complains !

I am used to working in fast-pace environment. With everything in slow-mo, patience is wearing thin. Feels like working in a government department or living in a underwater world. To be fair, some govt dept such as KWSP, Income Tax are pretty efficient nowadays. There is so much to do, and so little time given. Sigh....

I secretly wished everyone would walk faster, talk faster, work faster, be nicer and less sarcastic. Guess I have to tune my pace down .....

Study room is finally up

I have waited for almost half a year for my slow-coach hubby to setup the study room. I hate the sight of boxes lying unpack around the house. I would have unpack all the boxes and put them onto the shelf within the hour. But hubby was adamant that the study room is his room, and he would be the one who is allowed to 'design the layout'.... as he describes it. I relented, coz i have had my 'final jurisdiction' over our master bedroom.



I almost turned myself into a nagging old frog waiting for him to take his own sweet time to this task. Luckily, the long wait was worthwhile, the study room turn out to be nicer than I expected. He just drilled a few holes and assemble the shelves unit together. Even got a special allocated shelf just for his toys, another shelf for his CD collections, another shelf for comics.... sounds more like a kid's room than a study room though.


A peek into the study room.

Where is the recycle bins ?

I have been looking for recycle center or recycle bins since a few months ago. The old newspaper stacking at my house is now getting higher and higher.

Last week, I found recycle bins at Metro Prima - Jusco car park, but then at one look, one thinks that it's rubbish bin instead of recycle bin. Talking about how Msians tend to mis-use the recycle bins -- these people around either really an attitude problem, or they can't read.

So I went a-looking driving around Kepong area if I can find the right place to send my plastic bottles and newspapers. I even search online to see if there are any recycle centers nearby.

Why so hard to find recycle bins at Kepong area ? Anyone can help ?