Friday, December 29, 2006

Nagging

I, for one, is a person who hates being nagged at. My tolerance are somewhat thinner than my siblings. My mom nags and even my father does too. So you can imagine how much nagging exposure i get.

Nagging, to me, is the act repeating the same message over and over again in someone's ear. Why on earth would someone do that ? Again... homo sapiens are curious species... sometimes they do it for no reason at all. So I started to engage in this secret pursuit to understand nagging. Some ppl claim to nag out of love for someone, sth like an act of caring. To me that is the same kind of crap as beating a child out of love.

When I was young, my parents were strongly influence by strong Confusionism or whatever, and try to brain-wash us by telling us that if your parents beat you, it is out of love. The more they beat you up, the more they love you. This is the kind of logic that doesnt make sense. After I grew up, then understood that beat a child is no more than a simple reason that someone has bad anger management. Simple as that.

Why nag then ? People nag when they feel that their message have not been heard or understood. So they became a recorder to replay their message over and over again. Unconsciously they are hoping that the higher number of times the message is replay, the higher chances it gets into the recipient mind. Too bad, there ain't any clear correlation between the two. Often times, the replayed message will go left ear in, right ear out.... hehehe ... Like TV ads, there is actually an optimal number of times you should bombard your consumers with the ads. If you over-do it, tv watchers just get sick of it and mute the ads when it appears - defeating its purpose.

As a anti-nag advocate, I remind myself of these few principles so that i dont turn myself into a nagging old frog someday. So I secretly experimented with my partner and i think it works quite nicely
1. Find the right time to say it - when the mood, environment etc is perfect.
2. Use strong words to make sure he knows you meant what you say
3. After that, say no more. .. ( this is the hardest part )
4. Use body language to reinforce the message...

Just for illustration ..

Me (frowning) : Dear... i have a headache
Him : How come ?
Me : I always get headache when i am upset. Sigh..
Him ( sit up and all alert now ) : Who made you upset ?
Me : I get upset when i hear ppl cursing and using vulgar language...
Him ( with a guilty look) : Do you need panadol ? i will get for you
Me ( plea) : Will you promise not to do that again ?
Him : Ok promise..

End of story ..

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

For no reason....

I have chose today to resume blogging.... err... for no reason. It has been something that I have been meaning to do for a long while..... and i really mean a 'real' long while.

Well... it is a happy thing to finally get it off my to-do list.

Maybe its becoz year 2006 is coming to an end, and i wanna get this done before the year slips away unnoticed. Much as I stubbornly refuse to admit how fast time flies, the wrinkles that creeps up forces one to face the facts.

Much has happened this year, and guess what... i left it blank ... no blogs, no writings.. kinda regret now. Maybe I should start to backtrack a bit... hmm....

Anyway, this is still a good beginnning.